June 27, 2026

 June 27, 2026

Today was quite weird, my dad acted as if he didn’t stay out all day and night yesterday, and the only thing I believe was an acknowledgement of his lying to me was he said he loved me in a really out of the ordinary tone. He let me order groceries, not like I really gave him a choice. I needed food and I had already picked out everything I wanted, I was just waiting for the ‘okay’ that didn’t really matter. I feel bad for acting this way towards him. Anyway we barely talked after I ate. I went to my room and didn’t leave anymore the rest of the day.

The next few hours after that I listened to music and watched shows and played games, while I was playing games I checked reddit for a reason I do not remember. The post recommended in my notifications was about a child with severe behavioral issues. It reminded me of the way parents speak about their children in documentaries. The ones about mass murderers or just murderers in general. This made me want to research.

In high school I watched a ton of documentaries about school shootings, I don’t know why, it just really interested me. I obsessed on it. It was really weird. Anyway, tonight I spent about three hours researching school shooters, Kip Kinkel, Luke Woodham, and Michael Carneal. I had already watched a documentary on Kip back in high school, but I guess they left out a lot of details because everything I read was much different than how I remembered. 

I did remember that he didn’t kill himself afterwards, which from all the documentaries I watched of them, he was the only one who didn’t. That peaked my interest, It was the whole reason I decided to continue researching him. The first thing I read when starting this today was ‘I am Adam Lanza’s mother’ I believe it was called. I originally looked up if he had killed his mother prior to his mass shooting, I remembered correctly, he did. 

When I scrolled down ‘I am Adam Lanza’s mother’ was the first recommendation, so obviously I clicked it. It was really well written and It made me feel. After this I moved on to Kip because I was curious why he hadn’t killed himself after his shooting. Apparently five students wrestled him to the ground and took his gun. I’m assuming he got scared and just gave up. That was what I assumed before reading about it. Or that he had gotten scared and was afraid of death. 

Luke Woodham just pissed me off. His interview, everything he ever said publicly, It’s all just bullshit. He’s so fake. He stated that he was smart multiple times, this really irritated me. He is not smart. He’s a goddamn idiot. Everything he did was idiotic. I genuinely could not tell anything I read about Michael Carneal. I do not remember. Actually yes! He was the one who blamed the basketball diaries which is likely why it was banned in the US. He along with four other idiots got Rage by Stephen King discontinued too. I found the book online and begin trying to read it.

I got through half of page two and gave up, I do not like the way It was written. I may have just been tired, I’m thinking of trying again tomorrow. Anyway I’m quite tired.

Good night.